A Rant (which I'm afraid I'll later regret).

HUGE EDIT TO MY POST THIS MORNING. I DELETED A LOT BECAUSE I WAS JUST VENTING AND IT REALLY WASN'T FOR THE BEST.

Recently, someone basically told me that if I had stuck it out and stayed with our midwife, she could have helped me deliver Chase naturally... to me that was such a stab. I feel so hurt. I began to doubt myself and it added to the pain I already feel with my birth story not turning out the way I had dreamed. I think out of everything I've been told, that has hurt the worst.

I feel like I am at my boiling point with all of this adding up and the fact that I am not dealing with it. I always do this. Wait until things are boiling over to say anything and by then it's either too late or I just explode.

I really and truly believe that every women is different in how they parent, lose weight, their birth stories, desire for future kids (or not), etc. I also don't believe in ONE way of parenting... I think every child is different and has different needs or disciplines or whatever!

I will say this, I am thankful... so so so so thankful for my friendships with mom's here and far away as well. I seriously have a lot more to be thankful for. I should have done a thankful "rant" instead. I don't know why, but doesn't it seem like the negative things stand out more? When I was pregnant, I could have 3 or more people tell me I looked so cute pregnant and 1-2 people say "you are so much bigger than so and so" and only remember or dwell on the 1-2 people's comments. Why is that??!

Week 26: Finding Perfect Peace.

Baby: The network of nerves in baby's ears is better developed and more sensitive than before. He or she can now hear both Ted and I's voice as we chat with each other and when we sing to it at night. Baby is inhaling and exhaling small amounts of amniotic fluid, which is essential for the development of his or her lungs. (These breathing movements are also good practice for when baby is born and takes that first gulp of air.) And I can tell that baby is continuing to put on baby fat. He or she now weighs about 2 pounds and measures 14 inches! Quite the mover still. I awake to him or her kicking up a storm, usually around 4 am, consistantly! I think it's God preparing me for the night wake up calls for feeding! I don't mind it though =)

Momma:This past week has been the most stressful week yet. I've given into fear, and being stressed out more than a pregnant woman should. But I am seeking His perfect peace (Isaiah 26:3) in all of the newest changes. This morning we had a checkup at the clinic and this was the first time I had to go without Ted, which was hard. I haven't had the best experience in the clinic, and today was yet again, a disappointment. It's hard to have a birth plan and place totally altered. I used to just get through the appointments knowing that I wasn't going to be them throughout this entire, incredible process. Now... this is my reality. I am going to be going through this clinic, and having one of their 6 midwifes deliver my baby. I will say I have been treated nicely by 4 out of the 6 midwifes (so let's pray I get one of them). There are two that I really like, and I am praying one of them will deliver our baby.

Anyways, if you think about it, please pray for us. This has been a really rough week and I am seeking peace, but I honestly am not quite there. Ted is feeling total peace about having the baby at the hospital. I am NOT against hospitals I promise, it's just that I had a birth plan and it's gone... maybe that's a bit dramatic.

Alright, well photos to come. I have now gained 20 pounds, which freaked me out a bit, cause I'm only 6 months 1/2, but thanks to advice (thanks Hannah), and the fact that we are down the mountain, and living in a safe neighborhood to walk in... I'm hoping to only gain 10 more pounds at the most.

Please know too... my greatest heart's desire is to see our baby born safe!! Although I keep talking about our altered birth plan, this truly is my hearts desire.

On a much lighter note... I've started to get "charlie horses" like none other. I've never really dealt with these before, I sneeze and my legs cramp up SO bad. One night I freaked out, I was in so much pain, that I woke Ted. Poor guy! Thought I'd share cause it's kinda funny!

Thank you for caring and for praying for us!
Love,
Jami & our little sunshine =)
(Photo above: i found a bib and onesie that had "daddy's little sunshine" on them, and I will purchase them someday soon)

Prayer Request: A Change of Plans.

Yesterday morning Ted and I found out that I am Group B Strep positive. I took a test for a bladder infection and they found not only a bladder infection but that I was GBS+. Clinics usually do a screening between the 35th and 37th week of pregnancy, but because of the bladder infection test, they found this out a lot sooner for me. I am so grateful.

What is GBS?

Group B streptococcus is a type of bacterial infection that can be found in a pregnant woman’s vagina or rectum. This bacteria is normally found in the vagina and/or lower intestine of 15% to 40% of all healthy, adult women.

Those women who test positive for GBS are said to be colonized. A mother can pass GBS to her baby during delivery. GBS is responsible for affecting about 1 in every 2,000 babies in the United States. Not every baby who is born to a mother who tests positive for GBS will become ill.

Although GBS is rare in pregnant women, the outcome can be severe, and therefore physicians include testing as a routine part of prenatal care.

How does someone get group B strep?

The bacteria that causes group B strep normally lives in the intestine, vagina, or rectal areas. Group B strep colonization is not a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Approximately 15-40% of all healthy women carry group B strep bacteria. For most women there are no symptoms of carrying the GBS bacteria.


Now that I have tested positive for Group B Strep infection...

If you test positive for GBS this simply means that you are a carrier. Not every baby who is born to a mother who tests positive for GBS will become ill. Approximately one of every 100 to 200 babies whose mothers carry GBS will develop signs and symptoms of GBS disease. There are, however, symptoms that may indicate that you are at a higher risk of delivering a baby with GBS. These symptoms include:

Labor or rupture of membrane before 37 weeks
Rupture of membrane 18 hours or more before delivery
Fever during labor
A urinary tract infection as a result of GBS during your pregnancy
A previous baby with GBS disease
In this case your physician will want to use antibiotics for prevention and protection.

According to the CDC, if you have tested positive and are not in the high risk category, then your chances of delivering a baby with GBS are:

1 in 200 if antibiotics are not given
1 in 4000 if antibiotics are given

How can I protect my baby from Group B Strep infection?

If you test positive for GBS and meet the high risk criteria, then your physician will recommend giving you antibiotics through IV during your delivery to prevent your baby from becoming ill. Taking antibiotics greatly decreases the chances of your baby becoming ill.

For women who are group B strep carriers, antibiotics before labor starts are not a good way to get rid of group B strep bacteria. Since they naturally live in the gastrointestinal tract (guts), the bacteria can come back after antibiotics. A woman may test positive at certain times and not at others. That’s why it is important for all pregnant women to be tested for group B strep between 35 to 37 weeks of every pregnancy.

How does Group B Strep infection affect a newborn baby?

Babies may experience early or late-onset of GBS.

The signs and symptoms of early onset GBS include:

Signs and symptoms occurring within hours of delivery
Breathing problems, heart and blood pressure instability
Gastrointestinal and kidney problems
Sepsis, pneumonia and meningitis are the most common complications
Newborns with early-onset are treated the same as the mothers, which is through intravenous antibiotics.

The signs and symptoms of late-onset GBS include:

Signs and symptoms occurring within a week or a few months of delivery
Meningitis is the most common symptom
Late-onset GBS is not as common as early-onset
Late-onset of GBS could be a result of delivery, or the baby may have contracted it by coming into contact with someone who has GBS.

The information from above is taken from the link at the bottom of this blog.


Jami speaking now:

Of course I hoped for a healthy pregnancy, and this doesn't mean I still can't have that. I was a mess yesterday, I ended up making myself sick and I even got my second migraine (of my life) from the stress and the crying. I slept the afternoon away, trying to calm myself down for the baby's sake. I am asking for your prayers, because I am very up and down about this. I am afraid, I won't lie. I think the hardest part for me is feeling to helpless in this. I have 15 weeks until our baby will come and until then it's just waiting this out, once labor hits I will get an IV with antibiotics every 4 hours during delivery, in order to protect the baby from GBS. So that hard part is the waiting for the day of delivery, and waiting to see if my baby will have GBS or not. Please pray for our baby's safety!

Our plans for a home birth, as of right now, are put on hold. We've been advised to have the baby at the hospital, so I can be hooked to an IV with antibiotics, and just in case the baby is born with GBS they can take fast action. As you all know, my heart's desire was to have a home birth, but my greatest heart's desire is to have our baby safe and healthy.

If you know of anyone who has had this or if you have had this while pregnant, please talk to me! I want to hear a bit more about this, and just how serious or not serious this could be.

Thanks for listening & thank you for praying for our baby!
Love,
Jami

Why a Home Birth?

Many ask me, why did you choose to do a home birth instead of a hospital birth? Well, today I will answer and hopefully thoroughly. (With my mind these days, that is a lot harder than it may sound).

*Now for a disclaimer, let me say this. Many women I know and love, choose hospital births. This is not a blog about bashing hospital births and medicines and all that jazz! This is what I have chosen personally! I know a ton of women who have had incredibly midwifes in hospitals, and have super healthy kiddos now. This is nothing against you, if you are or have done this! Seriously, I hope you all see my heart is what I'm about to share! *

A little bit of history... when I was around 12 or 13 I attended a home birth for my mom's dear friend. As much as I was shocked to actually see a birth, I remember really enjoying the calm atmosphere, and the fact that they wanted to bring this baby into their own home and most importantly, a home embellished with God. Until I was married (which ironically I swore I would never marry), I didn't think about this again.

When we found out we were pregnant after months of trying and trusting God, I immediately wanted to do a home birth, but knew it would be hard to share that with Ted, and with my extended family. I knew they would be hesitant, but only because they wanted a safe enviroment for the baby and I. I shared my heart for wanting a home birth, and Ted was worried.

We ended up deciding to head to the doctors, and went ahead and planned on having a hospital birth. I won't lie, I was bummed but I understood Ted's hesitation was out of love for me, and the fear of the unknown. Well, our first appointment bombed. We were treated terribly (and I'm not exaggerating). The lady that checked the baby and I out, was very impersonal and actually quite rude. We left the clinic that morning feeling discouraged, and we both didn't feel peace, but Ted still wasn't ready to commit to a home birth understandably.

The weeks in between our first appointment and our 10 week check up, we frequently discussed a home birth. I also spoke with other mothers, (which there are 2 at our base), who have done home births. I asked them a lot about it, and with their encouragement- Ted met with one of the fathers to see what he originally felt about them, and what the process involves. We were still very undecided by the time we went to our 10 week checkup.

We saw the baby for the first time. For Ted, this made the entire pregnancy more real. The weeks of sickness made it real enough for me. We were treated a lot better this time, and still both walked away feeling no peace. So we then prayed, and decided to pursue a home birth.

I have many reasons for doing a home birth, but here are my most important, and heartfelt reasons for why I chose a home birth.
- First, I want to set the tone and atmosphere. I want to bring our baby into this world in an atmosphere of praise and adoration to God. I want to be able to spend however long labor is, in prayer and worship. I want our baby to come into the prescence of God first and foremost.
- I want to be with my baby immediately after labor. I want to hold him/her, despite how exhausted I am. I don't want someone to wisk my baby away. I want the first precious moments.
- I want to give birth naturally. I am a weakling, I know this more than anyone, and I want to remain focused the entire process of delivery.
- I want to be with my loved ones, while going through labor. I want my friends and family to be the first ones who welcome our baby into the world.

Can you do this at a hospital? I am sure you can and go for it!! A home birth is what we feel peace in pursuing.

I met our midwife yesterday, fell in love, and had total peace.( She believes in God, and will let me set the tone for the day) Oh, and Ted liked her too. In fact when she asked, "Do you guys need more time to think about this.." I was surprised and overjoyed to hear Ted answer first, saying we are set on doing a home birth and having her deliver our baby!!

We have totally peace, and I personally can't even share with you how excited, thrilled, anxious... I am for the next months to pass and to meet our little one! Hope this made sense! :)

Love,
Jami & the kickin' baby E

Week 17: Feeling Huge.

Baby:
Baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — his/her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. He or she can move her joints, and it's sweat glands are starting to develop.

Momma:
I feel HUGE this week. I think I have officially popped. I mean I know I have. You know the feeling of being extremely full or bloated or actually both?. . . well that is how I am feeling. I love that I am showing & that it is more obvious. Another change: I have already begun having braxton hicks contractions. I've heard from other mothers, being hydrated can help and I am trying to stay hydrated but that is hard in the mountains. Last night was the worst, but it's nothing unbearable. My mom was telling me when she was preggo she would look at the braxton hicks contractions as a preparation for the "big day". Apparently I have a very low tolerance for pain, and since I will be giving birth naturally, I hope to toughen up a lot before the baby actually comes! (btw-I am going without meds for my own personal reasons and convictions, which I will NEVER place on someone else, so when you read the "natural" part, please know this is for me personally).

No photo for this week, more anticipation for next week: 18.