Today's Appointment

40w 4d

At 11:40 we had an appointment, where I was hoping to hear news of some kind of progress. Nothing. :/ It's still in the same position, high and posterior.

I was discouraged, but I kind of expected that nothing was happening. Our baby is really comfortable the way he/she is and I am beginning to think that he/she is going to stay that way until the end.

They then had us go out for lunch so I was well fed and ready to be monitored for an hour or so, and to come back. So we ate and hurried back. They began monitoring baby and me, and I was having random contractions, but nothing special. Our baby is "text book perfect"!!! A sigh of relief today.

Today the midwife had to see me because Dr. Hill was in meetings, so we had to wait all afternoon to hear what he had to say about my check up and what he wanted to do.

My blood pressure was high today, which might have been anxiety, but we're not sure. Tomorrow we have a 10:20 am MST appointment. If my blood pressure is still high and the baby has not shifted down then we will have to have a cesarean...

The past 5 days, since our thursday morning appointment, have been emotionally draining and challenging. I know that if I was overdue, but they still thought I would have the baby naturally, then I would be at peace. Because I know that the possibility of me having a c-section is very high right now, it's been a long weekend and today was the worst. Ted and I are just ready and done with this waiting game. We don't like hearing, "come back tomorrow and we'll decide what to do..." every time.

I am so anxious to meet our baby and having him/her in the safest way possible is my greatest desire.

I am thankful that I didn't have to have a c-section so suddenly that I wasn't prepared. What I mean is at least I have had the weekend to really think about this as a reality and prepare emotionally if this really is my reality.

Please pray for us, for tomorrow's appointment. Our Doctor is a christian man and please pray that God really guide him in what is best for our baby. Thank you for caring, praying and encouraging us!

We're SO excited to become parents, most likely this week, and to meet our baby. I personally can't wait to find out BOY OR GIRL and to call him/her by name!!!!

What I've loved & What I am looking forward to.

(I am dressed here :)

What I've loved about pregnancy:

• The moment when Ted and I saw the positive pregnancy test.
• Knowing that I am carrying and taking care of someone so precious. A human being!
• Watching in amazement, our first ultrasound of our 10 week old baby squirming around.
• Watching my belly grow with each new week.
• The first time I felt the baby's movements at 13 weeks. No words could describe.
• Feeling my baby growing and his/her movements from within.
• Watching my stomach as he/she moved around.
• Watching my belly bounce up and down as he/she hiccuped.
• Spending a few minutes right before bed talking, singing and praying for our baby.
• Watching Ted kiss my belly and speak to the baby.
• Watching the baby respond to Ted's voice!
• Feeling the baby move when he/she heard me speak for the first time that morning.
• Preparing for our baby!
• The anticipation of not knowing when he/she will arrive and for me, not knowing the sex!
• How this has brought Ted and I even closer.

I will miss most of the above, so I've heard!

What I am looking forward to (with Baby):

• Holding my baby for the first time and many times after that.
• Snuggles with him/her.
• Singing to him/her face to face!
• Knowing if it's a him or a her!!
• Introducing our baby to the world.
• Watching as he/she grows.
• Documenting every little thing (you know me...)
• Baby's "first..." everything.
• Watching his/her personality develop.
• Watching him/her look more like mommy or daddy.
• Lying in bed with baby in between us.
• Spending time together as a family going for walks, picnics, outings...
• Introducing our baby to different cultures.

It's hard to narrow these down. Many more to come after the baby arrives, I'm sure!

What I am looking forward to personally:

• Sleeping on my tummy.
• Getting my figure back.
• Going for runs/walks with baby in the jogger.
• Having a bit of caffeine here and there. Dr. Pepper, ahhh.
• Eating sushi.
• Doing the early morning stretch without getting a charlie horse!
• Not having people stare at me like I am a traveling circus wherever I go.
• Seeing my bones again. Not having balloon hands, feet and face.
• Wearing my converse for the first time since March.
• Fitting back into the clothes that I now love so much. It's like Christmas!
• Being able to do things on my own again- the simplest things I need help with right now.

I could probably right a lot more in each category but this would be a novel! I wanted to write a blog like this before baby came and since baby is deciding to camp out a bit longer, why not write today?

Dreams, Dreams, Dreams.

Last night I had another boy dream, which now makes it 2 "it's a girl" dreams and 5 (maybe more now) "it's a boy" dreams. I specifically asked God to not tell me through a dream or a word and so far He's had a bit of fun messing with my mind, like Ted since they both know the sex.

So, I don't think the dreams mean anything, unless I'm having twins. Surprise! haha.

I dreamt that I went into labor and within an hour or two delivered a healthy 9 1/2 pound baby boy with blond hair and blue eyes. He came out with rolls and the mannerisms of a two month old. I remember the delivery was so fast that I wasn't able to get ahold of my mom in time and she missed it and was very upset. I had my family over and everyone was shocked at his size and how he already acted like a 2 month old or older. He could also already mimic people! I remember I was halling him around on my hip and thinking, when he is 6 months I won't be able to carry him! The funny thing was, when I woke up I realized the dream dissapointed me and I felt like I had missed out on the entire newborn stage. And then the dream made me incredibly emotional because I just want to HOLD my baby and not just in my dreams!

On friday morning worship, two of my friends came to me with dreams they had.

One of them said they dreamt they were hanging out with me and my water broke and I went into labor and delivered a healthy baby boy. Blond hair, blue eyes and ears that stuck out a bit!

The other friend told me that she dreamt I went into labor and forgot to call her (she is going to be in the delivery room). She said that I had a baby girl with dark hair!

See what I mean, God is messing with my mind. Two friends with two completely opposite dreams ;)

Do you remember the post about last sundays false alarm? That same morning, Ted had a friend of ours, who didn't know we had gone to the hospital, say that she dreamt I was going to have the baby on that day! I wish that were true!

All of this to say, I'd rather have the baby than the dreams, but I guess the dreams are making the anticipation even better. With Ted and I being complete opposites in looks...What on earth does our baby look like? I am thinking a girl with dark hair and dark eyes like me.

We shall see soon! I needed to write because of my anxious and wondering mind.

And the picture... what the heck right? A friend of mine tagged me in this photo on facebook. It made my day and I thought I would share. Plus since I am doing a 'dreams' blog, I thought it fit pretty well seeing I am definitely not on the cover of a Vogue magazine in real life ;)