L o v e.

He's captured my heart.

I will be interested to see what colour his eyes turn out to be. Loving them right now.

Punching at daddy. :)

l o v e.

Staring up at momma.

The photos below are a little late in posting. I actually forgot about them until the other day. Oops. So here they are;

taken @ 4w and weighing in @ 11 lbs 4 oz

Milestones.

Having fun with photo booth, haha.

sweet boy. 1m 2w 4d

His eyes keep turning more blue than dark or gray.

Loving it whatever way they are.

Milestones as of the past 3 weeks:

• sleeping and eating better. Nights aren't too bad!
• a lot more aware of familiar faces, voices and toys.
• gets excited at the above. Today in walmart he was even at the verge of giggling while playing 'peek-a-boo'. (can't wait for the official bout of giggles).
• found his fist which he loves sucking.
• found momma's hair
• found his ears. I captured that moment on video and photo! Soon to post.
• more excitement shown for bathtimes, 'mr.moose', momma & daddy's faces/voices, swing, etc.
• holds his head up a lot better and tummy times he enjoys a bit more.
• cuuuudly!! (with me, mostly... we are working on him being cuddly with daddy)
• 12 lbs 15 oz!!! (our friends here own a scale). He is evening out though and doesn't look that big honestly.

It's crazy how fast time flies. He is already 6 1/2 weeks. Whoa. I feel like there is more but it's 11:13 here in MO where we're visiting. I'm wiped.

*still writing our birth story. It's a long process, but (finally) a good one.*

speaking of birth stories... please pray for my friend Ashton! She is anxiously awaiting her little man and needs our prayers!

His First Cold & A Secret Exposed.

Chase's first cold began yesterday. Poor boy. I noticed he sounded congested yesterday afternoon when we were doing tummy time. Since then it's gotten worse but thankfully he isn't running a fever! We got saline drops to help loosen up the mucus, and I am hoping that will be all it takes to beat this thing. I just don't want him to get a fever! That would frighten me.

Last night I ended up sleeping in the recliner with him, in order to keep him upright. I didn't get much sleep, but it's really incredible how your mommy instincts truly kick in and you just do what you've got to do in order to keep him safe and secure. He is extra cuddly and clingy today, which I don't mind at all. I just want him to feel better!

Still smiley as ever though!

Today was my 6 week appointment. I can't believe it's been 6 weeks... and I can. I'm serious. Some days I am in awe of how fast it's flown and some days I feel like I had him months ago!

Okay, so my incision is going to heal on it's own and it actually looks better. I've really been taking care of myself and not lifting things I shouldn't. It freaked me out enough to teach me a lesson. It's still going to be a while before I am fully healed, in fact another 4 weeks. That was kind of disappointing, but I'm going to obey this time.

I lost 7 pounds since my check up 4 weeks ago. Not great, not terrible. I've ate terribly the first 4 weeks, so I am just glad I didn't gain any weight. Here is a funny story about the jelly belly...

Today Ted and I went through the drive thru at our bank. Out of habit, I turned the pen over and pushed it against my belly to click it open. My pre-prego belly and my tight prego belly 2 would instantly click it open, this time it just went into my skin and nothing happened! HAHA! Gotta love this jelly belly.

And for looking like this only 6 weeks ago... I should be grateful for where I am today. Seriously, when I saw this prego picture, I started laughing. It's so crazy how big I got!!

So Jami, just how much weight did you gain?

Here is something I will share NOW because as much as it may embarrass me, I want to be honest AND I also want to look back in 9 months from now and be proud of the weight lost (hopefully). Did you notice how I would update on my weight gain throughout the pregnancy up until the last 3/4 weeks? ... :) Yes it is that bad.

Well, the last few weeks, I ate EVERYTHING in my path. I was so anxious and bored. Too very bad combinations. I ate everything I craved.

So how much weight did I put on? 48 pounds!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I can't! Well, I can because it's still hanging on me ;) So far I've lost 32 lbs and I would still love to lost another 20!

Secret exposed.

I've learned my lesson for the next pregnancy. Wow, I just gave myself chills saying "next pregnancy". My goal of 2 children under 2 may have just changed. As of right now, I'm just a tad fearful of going through labor again!

Prayer Request.

My incision opened up again. This time in an entirely different spot and thankfully, smaller. By the way, when I saw "opened up" it's not a gaping wound, it's small but opened non the less. Have you ever had dry socket or an opened wound? You know that feeling when air hits it? That's the best way to describe the pain. It should heal on it's own (with cleaning). I don't understand that, but here's to hoping!

Or your prayers would be nice.

I've barely done anything to cause this tearing. However, we do own the basement of our house, which means I climb stairs when I want to use the kitchen or leave. So I use them a lot. I've only used the stroller for a few walks and when we would go shopping but that is it walking wise, because that does still hurt to do.

Anyways, my healing time is going to be a bit longer than I thought. I won't be doing crunches any time soon ;) I have another doctors appointment tomorrow to check it out.

Another prayer request is for me as I finish writing the birth story. I've been kind of apathetic and not wanting to deal with my emotions, how I am feeling about everything that happened and what I am going through. See, I have been in the process of writing it since week 2 of Chase's life. I've written the facts and the timeline of the labor and I'm now adding my emotions with it all. It's hard to find the words to describe what I was going through during that time.

This is written on the front of my journal. It perfect.

"Once you get over the fear, then it's a cinch," she said. And then she leaped into a mountainous and unexplored region of her heart. It is here where she must begin to tell her story.

You may not understand what I am talking about right now. Why is this such a big deal? I can't explain it but it's almost as though I am mourning a dream I had. I am also working through some of the questions and struggles I have with God regarding this.

Some of you have voiced your curiosity of the birth story and I will be posting it as soon as it is finished. It's mostly for me to process what we went through, but I do want to share with you. I want to keep you apart of this journey, especially if you've watched it from day one.

Chatty Chase.

When we get out his toy moose, he becomes SO chatty, as though he is talking with him. I photographed his conversation with Mr. Moose :)

He might look upset, but he is really talking.

Love his little nose.

smiley boy.

My Incision Drama.

So the "it's all in my head" thing I have been talking about with my incision... really isn't all in my head this time. I have been afraid of it "ripping open" and the past few days my incision felt a little different. When I would get up from a seat or move a certain way, I would feel like the right side of the incision felt odd. So last night I began to clean it with a cotton swab and alcohol as I usually do after I shower. This time it felt painful and then stung, so I grabbed a hand mirror to check it out. I still can't just it without lifting my belly flab a little bit. (It's getting smaller but definitely still have a jelly belly hiding my incision!)

I lifted the skin and saw something odd and touched the incision. Sure enough puss drained out followed by blood! I felt nauseous but remained calm and immediately went on the web. On one hand, what I researched freaked me out and then I read something that calmed me

down enough to wait to call the doctor today.

Today I forgot about it until I showered this afternoon and then this time as I swiped the cotton swab along the incision, blood covered one side of the cotton ball; enough to make me know something could be wrong. I somehow remained calm, picked up the hand mirror again and looked down to see my incision opened in one area. Then I called my doctor.

Sure enough, my incision opened a tiny bit on the right side. Dr. Hill told me that it is okay and at this point he does not need to sew me up or do a culture to "empty the infection" because I caught this in time to not get an infection. The puss wasn't a good sign, but he told me that there wasn't a pocket of puss now and that I can keep an eye on it and keep it clean. He also told me one reason for the puss could be because of water getting trapped under my belly. Sick!

So please pray that this doesn't get worse and I caught the "infection" in time before it becomes worse!

As I was blow drying my hair quickly before the appointment, I found myself saying to God "If I would have had him naturally, this wouldn't be a problem right now." I then immediately thought of this little guy and hushed up;

He is worth everything and more.

Thank you Jesus for bringing my boy safely into this world.

For that I am grateful.

Patterns, Coos & Green Poo.

We recognized two patterns last week. Two that we immediately knew we needed to put an end to. Two that had the potential to become bad habits.

Pattern #1:

Since Chase was born he has been held A LOT. He is our first, he is the first grand baby, nephew, etc. It kind of makes sense, but now we are making sure he isn't held as often. Why? Because two things happened last week; he would cry when put in his bouncer or on the floor and he would fall asleep in your arms easily but wake up the moment you laid him down.

Since we figured that out we've made some changes. He's placed in the bouncer or on the floor unless sleeping or feeding (well, or when mommy wants to cuddle or when daddy comes home). He doesn't like it at first but soon calms down and especially when he realizes someone is still there with him. He's a social little guy, we can already see that for sure! As soon as he falls asleep in our arms, we lay him down and he's finally sleeping through the movement. He even put himself to sleep a few times already! (You know it's bad when that is a big deal!)

I love holding him, but not all of the time, because believe it or not, it does get tiring! Plus I wasn't getting much done. Our place has been a lot cleaner since he lays down without fighting it:)

Pattern #2:

"Grazing"... that's right, feeding ALL of the time. He would be feeding every half hour - hour or so it seemed. I began to feed him almost any time he cried, in order to soothe him. That quickly became tiring as well plus with all of the "grazing" he wasn't getting full. That was why the feedings were so close together. I've now recognized this, a few weeks late, I know. Now when he cries I soothe him by rocking and giving him a binky. That calms him down right away. Funny how much time and energy I could have saved! Not to mention the fact that now he eats better and lasts longer and even sleeps more because of this!

He loves to suck, which I at first blamed the hospital nurses for because they gave him a binky right off the bat, but I read recently in a few books we have, that most infants enjoy sucking often. That doesn't mean on mom...

Silly me.

"coo-ing face"

Our little guy has been coo-ing like c r a z y lately! It's as though he wants to talk to us! We are loving that for sure. Ah, so sweet.

Green poo? Yep! I mean so so so so green. When I changed him yesterday it was in 3 diapers and freaked me out. I was worried even more when I looked at the index in The Baby book and 'green stool' had it's own few pages! Yikes. Well, no worries, because it turned out to be a problem I could easily fix. Basically this green poop (not all green poop is a result of this, sometimes it's more serious) was caused by a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance. Sounds complicated, but it's really not. Foremilk is thinner, the lower fat milk that he receives at the beginning of a feeding. Hindmilk comes a few minutes later and it's higher in fat. The reason we were having a problem is because of my abundance of milk. I am now pumping in between feeding to relieve myself of the weight and the aching and in order to not overwhelm my little man.

It could be worse, as in little to no milk. I shouldn't complain!

Well, that's it for today!

The Many Faces of Chase.

Today Chase is 1 month old.

Here are some of his many facial expression.

Enjoy :)

"Feed me" face.

Cranky face.

"Mom quit taking my picture" face.

Pooping face. (Seriously)

I'm not sure... just plain silly face.

Little grins face.

Just chillin' face.

My pitiful face. :)

Just plain serious face.

My playful face.

"I'm stinkin' cute and I know it" face.

Happy 1 month Chase Journey! You've already won our hearts!