Swing, Swing

Originally we were going to purchase this one. I'm am SO thankful we were advised to not get a swing because (and only for this reason)...

Chase LOVES the cheesy things!

I would have never bought this one, but now I love it! Because I know it will keep his attention.

I love the more modern look, like our baby bouncer, but honestly it's such a waste of money for us. For our baby and what he likes. Maybe our next baby will want the modern look? Yeah probably not. He pretty much dislikes his bouncer and the mobile on it doesn't keep his attention. I am going to blame this on me. But you can't blame me... the elephants and how it matched our colours, the ipod plug in... okay, okay it was because I liked it. Me.

P.S. amazon and ebay ROCK for purchases like this! Online garage sales :)

A 'Girls Only' Update.

First, an update on my little man. He is still fighting this cold. Poor buddy. He has been sleeping a lot more than normal, sleeping very good at night because of this. He doesn't wake up to feed and I actually have to wake him, which is not normal for him. I've also had to force feed him, because he was too lethargic to eat. He is just not himself and it's breaking our hearts. Tomorrow I am taking him into the doctors.

If you happen to be a man and you happen to be reading this very blog, I suggest you stop! Just for this one and trust me you'll want to stop.

Seriously, stop.

Many of you know, especially if you've seen me in person, that I am not lacking in the milk department. Not at all. Pre-pregnancy I was a lovely size B, as soon as I became pregnant I moved to a D and now I am DD possibly E. You think I'm kidding, right? I SO wish I was!!!! Since Chase has been eating less since Thursday I've been pumping like crazy otherwise I'm in pain.

Side note: I've been wanting to put "Jami is pumped!" as my facebook status but wonder if it's inappropraite. For some reason it cracks me up every time I think about it!

I'm oddly disproportionate now. (5'1 and DD/E??! REALLY?!) As my stomach slowly but surely shrinks, even I look at myself in disbelief. My friends and hubby also always point this out. Not that I need to be reminded! When I wear the sling with Chase's 11 lbs in it plus the weight I already hold out front, my back is killing! Hahaha..... oh golly. I am thankful though that I am not lacking milk. That would be harder, I think.

Enough about boobs, pumping, milk...

Onto something that is helping me with this life change and transition.

I am at home A LOT more than I ever have been. I love being with my boy, but I need some kind of creative outlet.

My creativity has sparked for the first time since Chase was born. I am feeling inspired to continue in the things in which I am passionate; photography, art, writing, craftiness, projects, etc. SO I am beginning a "weekly" DIY project on my suchprettyrain blog. I hope to keep this up because it truly does inspire me and make me feel a little more like myself.

Alright, I need to go to bed since Chase is sleeping right now! Since he has been sick, we've borrowed a baby swing from a friend and WHOA. It's been such a miracle. Chase goes in, Chase immediately falls asleep! Before he was born we were told we probably would only need a bouncer, no swing...

I could have saved myself so many hours for sleep, cleaning, craftiness, napping, etc if I had just gone with my instincts and bought one! Now we are FOR SURE getting one!

His First Cold & A Secret Exposed.

Chase's first cold began yesterday. Poor boy. I noticed he sounded congested yesterday afternoon when we were doing tummy time. Since then it's gotten worse but thankfully he isn't running a fever! We got saline drops to help loosen up the mucus, and I am hoping that will be all it takes to beat this thing. I just don't want him to get a fever! That would frighten me.

Last night I ended up sleeping in the recliner with him, in order to keep him upright. I didn't get much sleep, but it's really incredible how your mommy instincts truly kick in and you just do what you've got to do in order to keep him safe and secure. He is extra cuddly and clingy today, which I don't mind at all. I just want him to feel better!

Still smiley as ever though!

Today was my 6 week appointment. I can't believe it's been 6 weeks... and I can. I'm serious. Some days I am in awe of how fast it's flown and some days I feel like I had him months ago!

Okay, so my incision is going to heal on it's own and it actually looks better. I've really been taking care of myself and not lifting things I shouldn't. It freaked me out enough to teach me a lesson. It's still going to be a while before I am fully healed, in fact another 4 weeks. That was kind of disappointing, but I'm going to obey this time.

I lost 7 pounds since my check up 4 weeks ago. Not great, not terrible. I've ate terribly the first 4 weeks, so I am just glad I didn't gain any weight. Here is a funny story about the jelly belly...

Today Ted and I went through the drive thru at our bank. Out of habit, I turned the pen over and pushed it against my belly to click it open. My pre-prego belly and my tight prego belly 2 would instantly click it open, this time it just went into my skin and nothing happened! HAHA! Gotta love this jelly belly.

And for looking like this only 6 weeks ago... I should be grateful for where I am today. Seriously, when I saw this prego picture, I started laughing. It's so crazy how big I got!!

So Jami, just how much weight did you gain?

Here is something I will share NOW because as much as it may embarrass me, I want to be honest AND I also want to look back in 9 months from now and be proud of the weight lost (hopefully). Did you notice how I would update on my weight gain throughout the pregnancy up until the last 3/4 weeks? ... :) Yes it is that bad.

Well, the last few weeks, I ate EVERYTHING in my path. I was so anxious and bored. Too very bad combinations. I ate everything I craved.

So how much weight did I put on? 48 pounds!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I can't! Well, I can because it's still hanging on me ;) So far I've lost 32 lbs and I would still love to lost another 20!

Secret exposed.

I've learned my lesson for the next pregnancy. Wow, I just gave myself chills saying "next pregnancy". My goal of 2 children under 2 may have just changed. As of right now, I'm just a tad fearful of going through labor again!

Prayer Request.

My incision opened up again. This time in an entirely different spot and thankfully, smaller. By the way, when I saw "opened up" it's not a gaping wound, it's small but opened non the less. Have you ever had dry socket or an opened wound? You know that feeling when air hits it? That's the best way to describe the pain. It should heal on it's own (with cleaning). I don't understand that, but here's to hoping!

Or your prayers would be nice.

I've barely done anything to cause this tearing. However, we do own the basement of our house, which means I climb stairs when I want to use the kitchen or leave. So I use them a lot. I've only used the stroller for a few walks and when we would go shopping but that is it walking wise, because that does still hurt to do.

Anyways, my healing time is going to be a bit longer than I thought. I won't be doing crunches any time soon ;) I have another doctors appointment tomorrow to check it out.

Another prayer request is for me as I finish writing the birth story. I've been kind of apathetic and not wanting to deal with my emotions, how I am feeling about everything that happened and what I am going through. See, I have been in the process of writing it since week 2 of Chase's life. I've written the facts and the timeline of the labor and I'm now adding my emotions with it all. It's hard to find the words to describe what I was going through during that time.

This is written on the front of my journal. It perfect.

"Once you get over the fear, then it's a cinch," she said. And then she leaped into a mountainous and unexplored region of her heart. It is here where she must begin to tell her story.

You may not understand what I am talking about right now. Why is this such a big deal? I can't explain it but it's almost as though I am mourning a dream I had. I am also working through some of the questions and struggles I have with God regarding this.

Some of you have voiced your curiosity of the birth story and I will be posting it as soon as it is finished. It's mostly for me to process what we went through, but I do want to share with you. I want to keep you apart of this journey, especially if you've watched it from day one.

Chatty Chase.

When we get out his toy moose, he becomes SO chatty, as though he is talking with him. I photographed his conversation with Mr. Moose :)

He might look upset, but he is really talking.

Love his little nose.

smiley boy.

My Incision Drama.

So the "it's all in my head" thing I have been talking about with my incision... really isn't all in my head this time. I have been afraid of it "ripping open" and the past few days my incision felt a little different. When I would get up from a seat or move a certain way, I would feel like the right side of the incision felt odd. So last night I began to clean it with a cotton swab and alcohol as I usually do after I shower. This time it felt painful and then stung, so I grabbed a hand mirror to check it out. I still can't just it without lifting my belly flab a little bit. (It's getting smaller but definitely still have a jelly belly hiding my incision!)

I lifted the skin and saw something odd and touched the incision. Sure enough puss drained out followed by blood! I felt nauseous but remained calm and immediately went on the web. On one hand, what I researched freaked me out and then I read something that calmed me

down enough to wait to call the doctor today.

Today I forgot about it until I showered this afternoon and then this time as I swiped the cotton swab along the incision, blood covered one side of the cotton ball; enough to make me know something could be wrong. I somehow remained calm, picked up the hand mirror again and looked down to see my incision opened in one area. Then I called my doctor.

Sure enough, my incision opened a tiny bit on the right side. Dr. Hill told me that it is okay and at this point he does not need to sew me up or do a culture to "empty the infection" because I caught this in time to not get an infection. The puss wasn't a good sign, but he told me that there wasn't a pocket of puss now and that I can keep an eye on it and keep it clean. He also told me one reason for the puss could be because of water getting trapped under my belly. Sick!

So please pray that this doesn't get worse and I caught the "infection" in time before it becomes worse!

As I was blow drying my hair quickly before the appointment, I found myself saying to God "If I would have had him naturally, this wouldn't be a problem right now." I then immediately thought of this little guy and hushed up;

He is worth everything and more.

Thank you Jesus for bringing my boy safely into this world.

For that I am grateful.

Patterns, Coos & Green Poo.

We recognized two patterns last week. Two that we immediately knew we needed to put an end to. Two that had the potential to become bad habits.

Pattern #1:

Since Chase was born he has been held A LOT. He is our first, he is the first grand baby, nephew, etc. It kind of makes sense, but now we are making sure he isn't held as often. Why? Because two things happened last week; he would cry when put in his bouncer or on the floor and he would fall asleep in your arms easily but wake up the moment you laid him down.

Since we figured that out we've made some changes. He's placed in the bouncer or on the floor unless sleeping or feeding (well, or when mommy wants to cuddle or when daddy comes home). He doesn't like it at first but soon calms down and especially when he realizes someone is still there with him. He's a social little guy, we can already see that for sure! As soon as he falls asleep in our arms, we lay him down and he's finally sleeping through the movement. He even put himself to sleep a few times already! (You know it's bad when that is a big deal!)

I love holding him, but not all of the time, because believe it or not, it does get tiring! Plus I wasn't getting much done. Our place has been a lot cleaner since he lays down without fighting it:)

Pattern #2:

"Grazing"... that's right, feeding ALL of the time. He would be feeding every half hour - hour or so it seemed. I began to feed him almost any time he cried, in order to soothe him. That quickly became tiring as well plus with all of the "grazing" he wasn't getting full. That was why the feedings were so close together. I've now recognized this, a few weeks late, I know. Now when he cries I soothe him by rocking and giving him a binky. That calms him down right away. Funny how much time and energy I could have saved! Not to mention the fact that now he eats better and lasts longer and even sleeps more because of this!

He loves to suck, which I at first blamed the hospital nurses for because they gave him a binky right off the bat, but I read recently in a few books we have, that most infants enjoy sucking often. That doesn't mean on mom...

Silly me.

"coo-ing face"

Our little guy has been coo-ing like c r a z y lately! It's as though he wants to talk to us! We are loving that for sure. Ah, so sweet.

Green poo? Yep! I mean so so so so green. When I changed him yesterday it was in 3 diapers and freaked me out. I was worried even more when I looked at the index in The Baby book and 'green stool' had it's own few pages! Yikes. Well, no worries, because it turned out to be a problem I could easily fix. Basically this green poop (not all green poop is a result of this, sometimes it's more serious) was caused by a foremilk/hindmilk imbalance. Sounds complicated, but it's really not. Foremilk is thinner, the lower fat milk that he receives at the beginning of a feeding. Hindmilk comes a few minutes later and it's higher in fat. The reason we were having a problem is because of my abundance of milk. I am now pumping in between feeding to relieve myself of the weight and the aching and in order to not overwhelm my little man.

It could be worse, as in little to no milk. I shouldn't complain!

Well, that's it for today!

5 Generations!

Chase, Momma, Grandma Kami, Great Grandma Mary Jo and Great GREAT Grandma Lois.

Our first family photo!

Can you believe it? 5 generations! We were all first borns and we all started young, so that combo helps I guess ;)

Late night feedings with Chase usually end with me rocking him while singing 'You are my sunshine'. Last night was my favourite by far (minus staying up for 3 1/2 hours straight). As I sung to him, he cuddled with me and kept looking up at me, wide eyed, smiling and cooing as if he was trying to talk to me. I LOVE IT! He makes everything so worth it, even the long nights.

Today I was worried about his breathing and took him into the doctors "just in case". See, I have asthma and it could be hereditary because last week he started to cough or choke during/after feedings. It turns out he has a mild case of reflux but he is okay! Praise God! I was really worried.

Oh, and our little man is now weighing in at a whopping 11 lbs 4 oz! Even though that sounds huge, he really is still small and infant-like. I don't want you to picture a 4 month old, cause he's not that huge ;)

Ahh bummer, I just realized I forgot to do 'not me Monday' but I don't have the energy to remember all of my lovely not me's for this week. Next time!

The Many Faces of Chase.

Today Chase is 1 month old.

Here are some of his many facial expression.

Enjoy :)

"Feed me" face.

Cranky face.

"Mom quit taking my picture" face.

Pooping face. (Seriously)

I'm not sure... just plain silly face.

Little grins face.

Just chillin' face.

My pitiful face. :)

Just plain serious face.

My playful face.

"I'm stinkin' cute and I know it" face.

Happy 1 month Chase Journey! You've already won our hearts!

Zero; A Photoshoot

Chase's 3rd week has been a lot of fun; seriously! I find myself falling more in love with this little guy; with each smirk, grin, facial expression, coo, etc. I am bias, but he is the most adorable, lovable baby. Now, don't get me wrong, we definitely have our cranky moments, hard times and rough patches! But we are adjusting well and learning and growing together as a family through these new changes.

Side note: in these photos he is wearing a "zero month" sticker. Each month we will do this. We got the idea from a friend who also did this with her kiddo. Interested? pickysticky.com

He's a pretty playful little man and now gets really excited. We're loving it!

As you can see, no worries in the weight department!

Probably one of my favourite things is his many facial expressions. He has us laughing a lot. This one I can his "stinky face". He's not upset, he just makes this face!

He enjoys looking at lights, our red walls and the "hooter hider" colors although he can only see the white, red and black right now.

He is a super alert little guy and has been since he came.

He loves looking directly into mommy's face and he's beginning to do the same with daddy. He watches our lips as we speak and our facial expressions like we are so interesting ;)

It's so true what you read about your baby's different cries and how you will learn them! Chase has many and I feel like I finally have them down; the sleepy cry, the overly tired cry, the "I'm hungry" cry (SO got that one down!), the "I want to be held" cry (which is quite pitiful and makes me laugh sometimes), the uncomfortable cry, and my least fav. the I'm in pain cry (circ week was awful).

"Quick" updates

Nights:

Each night varies, but for the most part we still have 2 "bad" nights out of 7. Not too bad. This week was different because of his 3rd week growth spurt and wanting to nurse almost literally every hour. I'm serious. One night it was literally every single hour! We slept in the next morning. It wore Chase out too! I've been told the the feeding so often this week is him building up my milk supply (even more...?!) to be able to fit his needs as he grows.

Momma:

I've had to really pray in the late evening/early morning feedings for strength and patience. I've asked God to keep reminding me that I am capable, adequate and able to do this and that I am giving life to Chase, with each feeding. You need to be reminded of these things, even though it should be so obvious, in hard/tiring times it's really not!

I had a friend share some awesome advice with me about "taking one day at a time" and finding a "new normal". So I have been doing both of those and have felt a lot better. Somedays our "new normal" is sleeping in because of a bad night, having cereal at noon, shower in the afternoon and dressed by the time daddy gets home. Somedays it's getting up early, shower, cooking a meal. Somedays it running errands and then coming home and taking a nap. You get the idea. I am loving this week though, really I am.

Healing:

I AM healing... Although I don't always believe that, it IS happening. I just feel so odd. The nerves are so touchy around my incision. Lately they've been uncomfortable and slightly painful. Normal from what I hear, but I really hate the feeling. It has only been almost a month.

Sorry this is long... but I am so relieved to be able to have time to blog (obviously)! I really enjoy it and miss it when I don't have access or time. I like to write immediately when I think of something to blog about, not days after. I feel like I am missing something I wanted to share :)

'Not me Monday'

So basically any "not, hasn't, didn't", etc... really DID happen. If that makes sense.

It hasn't been a while since I've posted a 'Not me Monday'!

Yesterday, in early hours of the morning, I was not so tired after feeding Chase that I decided the walk to the crib was too far away and he could just sleep with us. I was not awakened a few hours later by Ted asking, "Where is Chase?" which caused me to jump in fear and realize I had covered him up with our blanket at some point. He was sleeping soundly, but definitely nice and toasty.

I do not occasionally have an iced cold glass of caffeinated, carbonated, high fructose corn syrup-ed Dr. Pepper and enjoy it

thoroughly! Nope, not me!

Yesterday Ted and I did not, for the first time, wish that Chase could speak and tell us why he was screaming. I did not assume it was hunger, even though it wasn't his hungry cry, and feed him over and over trying to soothe him. After the feeding didn't work, I did not then assume it was gas. We did not spend spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to get the gas from his body and read that a warm bath and a massage might help. When I took his diaper off, and he immediately stopped his crying/screaming, I did not then realize the reason for all of the fuss! Slowly but surely the little plastic ring from his circ had been falling off of his penis on one side and pulling on the other! He didn't have a gas bubble, no, he was hurting!!

Ted and I definitely did not cringe and feel awful.

After we realized Chase's little peanut was hurting, we did not decide to let him take a extra long, warm bath and then remain naked for most of the night. Chase did not pee all over Ted during that diaper-less time :)

I did not (finally) get asked "when are you due?" while out running errands. I was not expecting this to happen sooner or later and this did not make me even more self conscience. This is why;

I couldn't blame her for asking because I do look 20 weeks prego :/

During church Sunday, I was not embarrassed when Chase decided to poop during the service (he is a loud pooper- he grunts so loudly while doing so too). Nope, not me!

Saturday late evening, early morning I did not have a melt down and sit in bed sobbing as my little man ate. Nope, not me.

I do not usually have a "break down" in 1 out of every 3 days and usually during late night, early morning feedings.

I was not slightly embarrassed to write the above 'not me'.

I did not take me over 4 hours to finish this between feedings, a quick shower after Chase threw up in my hair, getting one load of laundry started, making a pot of decaf coffee, rocking Chase to sleep. Nope, not me.

A Dedication & Celebration.

Our little stud.

Sock shoes.

Dedicating Chase.

Chillin' with Daddy

Hangin' out with Grandpa Matt on his birthday.

Our Smiley Little Man.

Chillin' in bed with mommy & daddy

Chase is now 3 weeks old! He has begun to smile AT us and we can now tell. Before it was difficult to tell what he was smiling for or at. The past few days he smiles at us! We had our YWAM baby shower on Thursday evening and when he was placed back into my arms at the end of the shower, I looked down to see him smiling up at me. My heart melted all over again.

I can't even express how much I'm in love with this little man!

(sorry the pic quality stinks. I only had my camera phone handy at the time!)

A Recommendation and An Update.

A friend let me borrow this book and I am now purchasing our own copy because I can't stop looking things up and realize how much I really need this! Check it out Mommas!

A few quick updates (Chase is napping and I am on my way to nap with him);

Chase:

Still eating a ton and gaining weight. I love his little chubs! He has been pretty clingy since his circumsision on Monday but Ted and I are loving his cuddles and comforting our son. He is alert when awake and trys to hold his head up when you place him on your shoulder. I don't want him to grow up too fast, but I really can't wait for more of his smiles and his personality to come out. He has such a serious face when he is awake, it's hilarious!

Nights:

Okay, so up until last night, things were going really well. What happened? He was awake for most of the morning yesterday, slept then entire afternoon and into late evening (minus the waking up for feedings). So last night he was wide awake for 4 1/2 hours all together. I was wiped out by this morning's feeding and had to lie on my side, for the first time since the c section, and feed him. After that feeding, I slept until 10 am and I am still pretty wiped out. Let's pray tonight is different!

Breast feeding:

I am a milk machine. It's actually quite amazing that God creates our bodies to do this. I had to begin pumping more often now because my milk supply feels like it just doubled. It's actually painful sometimes. Yesterday I pumped 4 1/2 oz from one side in only 8 minutes (then stopped because I was sore)!! I actually just finished pumping again because of the engorgement. It's nice to have bottles ready, but I rarely use them because I'm afraid he is going to become used to instant gratification again, like when they fed him formula in the hospital. What do you think? I also don't want to waste perfectly good breast milk, but I just don't want to form bad habits for him!

Healing:

I am feeling GREAT! I didn't expect to feel this good after only 19 days since his arrival. I also never thought I'd recover though, haha. I can finally laugh, sneeze, cough, and get up and down with minimal to no pain. Thank you God! Seriously. For those of you who've had c sections, you know what I mean. Laughing even hurts sometimes!

Weight:

I'm not even going to really touch on this subject. I keep getting my hopes up as I step on the scale each morning and realize the number keeps going down... but how long can that last? Really? Yeah, I need to just quit that right now.

p.s. since this is my blog, I can write the "TMI" stuff here; did i mention i finally went number 2? Yes, I am saying this. It was a miracle and I even thanked God! My mom told me to weigh myself after, I did and weighed 4 pounds less. Sickening!!!!

Wordless Wednesday.

A Random Scrabbled Blog.

Remember our 31 week maternity photoshoot? Well, we didn't actually share them all. It would have given our names away! Here is one now.

Ted needs to edit them, because I did it tonight on picnik.com and it rarely turns out that grand. He will make the letters pop so you can actually read them :) Anyways, I just remembered we took these, so I had to share.

I chose this cloud layout for one day during the pregnancy and decided against it because it was too boyish. And now, all along it was just perfect. Let's see how long it lasts. I am considering making a blog with my gmail account- that way all 3 of our blogs will be in the same log in and I can choose a different link name because we will definitely be having siblings for Chase (someday, a little overwhelming to think about right now, ha), so jami & baby bump doesn't really apply anymore. Didn't think that one through when I made this blog ;)

I had a bit of "free time" because Chase actually let me set him down in his bouncer. He's wanted to be held since his appointment this morning and I have literally held him ALL afternoon and evening. I love his snuggles & his little sighs while sleeping, but I am wondering how tonight is going to go. We might be sleeping in the recliner tonight.

Oh and one more thing... please pray for our car to get finished at the shop so Ted & his mom can get back here. They are 6 hours away in KS and Ted was telling me tonight just how much this is killing him. I'm guessing he will be the one holding Chase all day when he returns. They are hoping to be back by tomorrow late afternoon/evening and are now 2 days late and Chase and I are missing them!

He's awake, gotta run!!